Dr. V.

OK. Yesterday I found my OB! I had a strong intuition about this practice when I found it online, then heard from a friend who had a good experience with her natural birth in June with them. I haven't felt so taken care of in a long time, medically speaking. I mean, 3+ years ago, I didn't even know what it was to need medical care. Then I got quickly and traumatically schooled in all the ways that people don't care for you well.

Yesterday, I walked into a sanctuary-like practice in a converted warehouse building overlooking the Chicago River. The medical assistant kindly escorted me immediately to an exam room where she talked WITH me, not at me, and asked me to leave my clothes ON. They had a little desk area set up for me to complete my paperwork. I waited in the exam room for exactly 12 minutes, then Dr. V. came in with a genuine smile, sat down and took my hand, apologizing for keeping me waiting! (Which was more than the doctor last week did who had kept me waiting half-naked for two full hours.) She was so great right from the start. She struck the perfect balance between concern about my HELLP history, and seeing me as a woman, sitting before her with hopes and dreams about this pregnancy. She knew her pre-e stuff, which made me feel so safe. She did an ultrasound, which was cool since I've never had an early one before. It was fun to see the little shrimp that's inside of me, and whose heart is already beating. She said that the baby looks to be very healthy so far, and then she actually told me that because of that, my miscarriage risk drops from 20% to 5%. What OB says that? I felt so happy and relieved!!

Here's what she is doing already with regards to my HELLP history:

• Blood draw to test liver and kidney function as well as platelets (and other things, 6 vials in all).
• 24 hour urine to be collected the night before my 12 week appoinment.
• Continue on daily baby aspirin throughout the entire pregnancy.
• Taking this pregnancy one day at a time, viewing it as an unfolding journey and not getting too far ahead of ourselves. I loved that she said this!
• Monthly ultrasounds throughout the last trimester to look at the placenta, blood vessels and the baby's growth.

My next appointment with her is Nov. 5. She estimated my due date to be May 15. She's 30 weeks pregnant herself and I'll see the other women in her practice during her 6 week maternity leave. It's kind of fun having a pregnant OB! I also like that she will have had her own birth experience before she attends my birth. I can only imagine that it's her first baby because they PLANNED to have a winter baby. In Chicago. Her due date is a week after Gavin's birthday. Ugh. We promised ourselves no more winter babies after living through that hellish, frigid indoor entrapment in 2007! ;) 

I am so relieved, happy and relaxed. I feel like I can really get into this pregnancy now. When I first found out that I'm pregnant my immediate reaction was this total state of mental calm. I have that back. And it feels incredible!

The Numbers Game

As a very right-brained person, I have been avoiding, if not completely ignoring, numbers my entire life. They make my head spin. I can't even play card games. Anyway, my HELLP experience caused me to pay attention to numbers and I've overcompensated by obsessing some about them. I can almost see how people take comfort numbers. They're precise. You can measure them and make deductions based on them. Still not my thing, but I get it. So here are the numbers that fly through my head way more often than they should:

• 17: The week that I had my first high-ish bp reading in my HELLP pregnancy. That's in 9 weeks for me, so I'm feeling anxious about that particular week. 
• 130/90: If you have one high blood pressure reading (130/90) prior to 35 weeks gestation, you have a 33% chance of developing preeclampsia in that pregnancy. So far, my highest recorded bp has been 126/85. 
• 13: At 13 weeks, the risk of miscarriage decreases. In my first pregnancy I had a healthy awareness of that possibility, but my new traumatized self is much more aware of that risk. 5 weeks to go.
• 8: I'm running 2 miles twice a week (or more) and aiming for 8 minute miles. This week, I finished 2 miles in 15:36 and 15:49. Not bad for someone who has never had one ounce of interest in competitive running! Oh, and I work out 5-6 days a week, including weight training, cardio and flexibility work. Regular physical activity during the first 20 weeks of pregnancy reduced pre-e risk by 35-45% compared to sedentary.
• 60: The number of grams of protein a pregnant woman should consume. I really struggled a ton and fell short with my vegetarian diet in my first pregnancy, and I often wonder how much that contributed to the "perfect storm" that led to my illness. It's hard for me still, and I am eating some meat to try to help, but I just have a really hard time with ethical, philosophical and environmental issues related to eating animals. I add nuts, chia seeds, quinoa and other sneaky protein sources into a lot of my food but that gets a little old. I've been trying to eat a hard-boiled egg every day, but that often makes me gag and I have to force it down. They say protein powder isn't recognized by your system, but I often supplement at bedtime with some vanilla almond milk with whey protein powder in order to get my number for the day up. I have been eating more cheese than usual and my breakfast cereal has about 10g which is pretty good. I eat high protein bread (5g per slice) and lots of PB. Any other ideas?

My appointment with OB #2 is tomorrow. Wish me luck!!
Amy