I survived HELLP Syndrome in December of 2007. You can read my story here. To learn more about HELLP and Preeclampsia, please go here. Also, please understand that any medical information shared in my blog is only for the purpose of my self-expression and general awareness about HELLP. I am not a medical doctor, and you should always talk to your doctor rather than relying on information from this very amateur blog. ;)

Sunday, September 23, 2012

Here I Am .. Again..

I am 37 weeks pregnant. Full term - this little guy and I made it! :)

This is my second post-HELLP pregnancy. Brian and I didn't plan to risk another pregnancy after Elliott was born 16 months ago, but we were glowing in the aftermath of a pregnancy and birth experience that was so amazingly opposite the trauma of the first that we just weren't careful like we'd been in the years following Gavin's birth. I certainly NEVER thought I'd get to be one of those women who flippantly, innocently got accidentally and joyfully pregnant. It's been really weird to integrate the sense of joy and serendipity with the level of irresponsibility that I feel for putting myself and this baby at risk.

I can't believe I haven't posted this whole pregnancy. I find myself needing the outlet of this blog for the first time in almost a year and a half. I have been so calm and anxiety-free for most of the pregnancy, just enjoying my lucky chance at getting to do this all over again. I've been super duper healthy, following a rigid diabetic diet, working out, and only gaining about 15 pounds. The baby is healthy and strong. I haven't had anything to worry about. I could almost pretend that I'm not someone who has to worry.

But now I find myself right back in a very familiar place. My blood pressure is creeping up. It's getting higher later in the day, and at night, and not responding a whole lot to resting. I am starting to feel just a little off. Nothing crazy, just not great. I got my official orders from my wonderful OB last week. If it gets to 130/80 and stays there for an hour, I am to call her and meet her at the hospital to get the baby out. It's been hovering right around that range most nights for the last couple of weeks. This has turned into a really challenging waiting game. I'm also contending with surgery anxiety, as this birth will be a c-section no matter what. I'm scheduled to have one two weeks from tomorrow morning at 39 weeks.

Just rambling. 124/61. Ah, look at that.  A little blogging and my bp drops.

Thanks for being out there.
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