My traumatic stress response has been a little triggered due to looking back at old hospital records as I prepared copies for the midwives, and also because they asked me to do another (my third of this pregnancy) 24 hour urine collection and a panel of HELLP-related blood tests, even though I just did both and had glowing results 5 weeks ago. Tanya reminded me today that I told her once that I had a sense during my first pregnancy that something was off and that I could never fully imagine the birth. She reminded me of how strong my intuition is and that I knew, but didn't really know what it meant or how it would unfold. This time around I can clearly see this birth at West Suburban in the water and I know it's going to happen. Not like a crazy person who's hellbent on making it happen, but like someone who's intuitive and can peek just a little bit into the future.
I am again reminded of the dire need for awareness of preeclampsia and HELLP. I saw my clinical supervisor last week and she told me how wonderful and healthy I look, and how she remembers me looking different last time. I asked her what she meant, and she said she remembers me gaining a lot of weight at the end of the pregnancy and looking bloated and swollen. I shared that with a mutual friend and she said "You know, now that I think of it, that's so true." Even my mom has said that. So what is the problem? Yes, in part it's that we're so paranoid of offending women by talking about weight and appearance that we keep our mouths shut even if there's cause for concern, but it's also that many people have no idea that swelling, bloating and rapid weight gain are symptoms of a potentially deadly disorder of pregnancy. Instead of getting angry, I'm trying to focus on the good part of this - that I am not bloated or swollen. I am gaining more weight now but it's within the normal pace of last trimester weight gain (and I've also finally stopped jogging).
I am in a really calm and positive state of mind about the baby and the birth. From the start, this baby's energy has been peaceful, reliable and steadfast and I am very tuned into that right now.
Here are some stats and info to share:
BP at my last appointment: 108/66 (Yay!!!)
Weight: 170 (started at 150)
Belly size: exactly 33 weeks
Head: Down!
Movement: Tons - but it's getting really tight in there, so no more kicks and punches
Sex Guess: Really balanced male-female energy (Gavin was the same way)
Acne: Like a 16 year old
Energy: Like a 16 year old
If you haven't given your guesses yet as to the sex of the baby, let me know what you think! I'm terribly behind with the baby's journal and that was a fun part of Gavin's - to have everyone's guesses. I'll try to take another picture this week in case you're one to judge by belly shape.
I'm mailing another tube of blood to Ananth tomorrow so I should have results back within about 2 weeks that will give me an idea of the likelihood of getting sick or not through week 39-41. But I'm not even worried. I know it's not happening. :)
Happy (belated) Vernal Equinox & Spring!
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